Fourth Solitude
I have been meaning to start a blog for quite some time now. But this medium, admittedly, intimidates me to no end. It intimidates me to have my thoughts out there in the open for anyone to read & judge.
What has happened to me? I used to be a writer – filling up journal after journal, writing for publications, writing short stories, just writing writing writing. Somehow in the past five years, I have ceased to identify myself as a writer. I am now the corporate woman, the consumer, the lover, the bitch, the comedian - anything but the writer.
In Canadian literature there is a genre named the Third Solitude, which is intended to describe Canadian Minority writing. In this vastly European-decent nation: there are many whose first language is neither French nor English but who (particularly in Montreal) float in and out of worlds trying to find their voice. I identify with this genre – having the ability to express myself in three languages but ultimately being intimate with none.
I would add that there is the Fourth Solitude that exists for the Canadian Minority and Christian writer. I am that Fourth Solitude. The Chinese in me forces me to be the successful businesswoman. My ingrained practical side points my skills and talents in that direction. While the writer in me, which has more recently remained dormant, challenges me to be free and open in my thinking – promiscuous and prolific in experience. The Christian ideology and faith that I attempt daily to follow pulls in me yet another direction of purity and moderation. And so I journey in a Fourth Solitude.
As you read my thoughts, you will find that they are riddled with contradictions and are generally an unfocused mass of words rushing onto the page – it is the perfect reflection of who I am. I cannot promise a blog that enriches, that brings laughter or tears…I merely present to you a journal that tries to express my inner-voice, one that I often suppress in public. And as my moods swing wildly, so will the tone of my writing.
I conclude by saying that sometimes it is in the solitude that goodness comes about. This morning’s sermon supports the thought that personal/spiritual growth is often developed in times of solitude. The speaker went on to say that growth is experienced and further enriched as one moves from solitude to service.
Thus, my truest intention for this blog is to hold myself accountable – to persist in moving from solitude to service.
I have been meaning to start a blog for quite some time now. But this medium, admittedly, intimidates me to no end. It intimidates me to have my thoughts out there in the open for anyone to read & judge.
What has happened to me? I used to be a writer – filling up journal after journal, writing for publications, writing short stories, just writing writing writing. Somehow in the past five years, I have ceased to identify myself as a writer. I am now the corporate woman, the consumer, the lover, the bitch, the comedian - anything but the writer.
In Canadian literature there is a genre named the Third Solitude, which is intended to describe Canadian Minority writing. In this vastly European-decent nation: there are many whose first language is neither French nor English but who (particularly in Montreal) float in and out of worlds trying to find their voice. I identify with this genre – having the ability to express myself in three languages but ultimately being intimate with none.
I would add that there is the Fourth Solitude that exists for the Canadian Minority and Christian writer. I am that Fourth Solitude. The Chinese in me forces me to be the successful businesswoman. My ingrained practical side points my skills and talents in that direction. While the writer in me, which has more recently remained dormant, challenges me to be free and open in my thinking – promiscuous and prolific in experience. The Christian ideology and faith that I attempt daily to follow pulls in me yet another direction of purity and moderation. And so I journey in a Fourth Solitude.
As you read my thoughts, you will find that they are riddled with contradictions and are generally an unfocused mass of words rushing onto the page – it is the perfect reflection of who I am. I cannot promise a blog that enriches, that brings laughter or tears…I merely present to you a journal that tries to express my inner-voice, one that I often suppress in public. And as my moods swing wildly, so will the tone of my writing.
I conclude by saying that sometimes it is in the solitude that goodness comes about. This morning’s sermon supports the thought that personal/spiritual growth is often developed in times of solitude. The speaker went on to say that growth is experienced and further enriched as one moves from solitude to service.
Thus, my truest intention for this blog is to hold myself accountable – to persist in moving from solitude to service.
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