Friday Night Recluse.
So what is a party girl doing home alone on a Friday night ~ listening to white stripes while eating nachos and blogging...transformed? Hardly.
You see, everyone I love (and in their 20's) is in one condo this weekend in Quebec city on our annual ski excursion ~ and I am alone in the T-dot.
After a year and half of single living - 600 KM from home, I admit that there is indeed a cycle of emotion with regards to one's hometown. Each time I come back from visiting la belle province, there is the initial adrenaline of having to pick up the hectic speed and be productive, self-sufficient and grateful for the me-time again. However, by the second week the intense feeling of homesickness fully sets-in. And then I am consumed by thoughts of everything I left behind.
Rather than putting on a brave face and finding companionship to pass the time. I withdraw. I would rather be left to my own misery than admit to anyone that I am weak or worse, sit in a crowd and fake happiness. I just pass the time alone in my place - reading, eating, sleeping, and taking long long walks.
Overtime I get back into the swing of things and follow the Toronto beat. Home becomes this distant thought and I carry on with my charmed lifestyle. I've long given up the idea of returning home. The damnedest thing is that once someone leaves their life, their loves, their home - there is no turning back. Life back home continues and the void gets filled.
So what is a party girl doing home alone on a Friday night ~ listening to white stripes while eating nachos and blogging...transformed? Hardly.
You see, everyone I love (and in their 20's) is in one condo this weekend in Quebec city on our annual ski excursion ~ and I am alone in the T-dot.
After a year and half of single living - 600 KM from home, I admit that there is indeed a cycle of emotion with regards to one's hometown. Each time I come back from visiting la belle province, there is the initial adrenaline of having to pick up the hectic speed and be productive, self-sufficient and grateful for the me-time again. However, by the second week the intense feeling of homesickness fully sets-in. And then I am consumed by thoughts of everything I left behind.
Rather than putting on a brave face and finding companionship to pass the time. I withdraw. I would rather be left to my own misery than admit to anyone that I am weak or worse, sit in a crowd and fake happiness. I just pass the time alone in my place - reading, eating, sleeping, and taking long long walks.
Overtime I get back into the swing of things and follow the Toronto beat. Home becomes this distant thought and I carry on with my charmed lifestyle. I've long given up the idea of returning home. The damnedest thing is that once someone leaves their life, their loves, their home - there is no turning back. Life back home continues and the void gets filled.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home