"You do this everytime! Everytime!! What?! Do you have some kind of radar? Carrie might be happy - it's time to sweep in and shit all over it?!!!?!"

Yea I don't have to tell you where that quote came from...do I?

A sick gift that God gave men - to swoop in. And women? What do we have? We have this sick ability to remember, to ponder, to torture ourselves with the past.

Everytime I find some sort of satisfaction in life - some little happiness to call my own, someone from my past comes back to haunt me and make me think...and think...and wonder about the 'what ifs' to make me doubt my present choices in life.

But this time I will have no part in it. They were undoubtedly sweet and unforgettable times. But you are not here - and you would never come back to me.

For once in my life, I am 'guarding my heart' as the Bible instructs. I choose stability, I choose NOT to abandon all for love - cause I choose to be happy - I choose myself.