And love hurts.
My return from Montreal to Toronto was more painful than I could imagine. Driving back was so cruel - to prolong the feeling of leaving my childhood and all that I hold dear behind.
For reasons known only to a select few, I had a real attachment to my parents this visit. It seems that as I grow older, the roles begin to reverse. Eventhough not much of them has changed since my childhood - I sometimes now have this overwhelming desire to embrace them, as if to shield them from disappointment and sadness.
Living apart from them these past 14 months has allowed me to see the progression of our relationship. My life experiences and the physical distance between us mean that I am developing on my own - outside the confines of the daily schedules and dinners.
The feeling I have towards my parents cannot be described. In a poor attempt, I shall write that I know God exists because of the love I feel towards my parents. Each time before I visit, I have these intense moments of anxiety because I fear that somehow time has altered them in a way that I am not ready to witness. In every thought and action, I think of them, wonder if they approve.
And so I pray that I would love myself enough to always act in a way that would bring them happiness. Because I owe everything to them and their sacrificial love towards me.
My return from Montreal to Toronto was more painful than I could imagine. Driving back was so cruel - to prolong the feeling of leaving my childhood and all that I hold dear behind.
For reasons known only to a select few, I had a real attachment to my parents this visit. It seems that as I grow older, the roles begin to reverse. Eventhough not much of them has changed since my childhood - I sometimes now have this overwhelming desire to embrace them, as if to shield them from disappointment and sadness.
Living apart from them these past 14 months has allowed me to see the progression of our relationship. My life experiences and the physical distance between us mean that I am developing on my own - outside the confines of the daily schedules and dinners.
The feeling I have towards my parents cannot be described. In a poor attempt, I shall write that I know God exists because of the love I feel towards my parents. Each time before I visit, I have these intense moments of anxiety because I fear that somehow time has altered them in a way that I am not ready to witness. In every thought and action, I think of them, wonder if they approve.
And so I pray that I would love myself enough to always act in a way that would bring them happiness. Because I owe everything to them and their sacrificial love towards me.
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