boyz are lucky

last monday we went to the driving range. at the last second, we decide to go to buffet vichy's in lasalle. where? exactly. i had no clue how to get there but where there is a buffet - hungry boyz know the way!

i felt like a combustible pig after 2 plates. K,B,T, and N prolly had 4 heaping plates each already. they were rolling in their chairs from greedy consumption.

boy talk:
K: "okay, whoever is a man will go and get one more giant plate. everyone has to go."
T: "yea a big plate."
K: "gotta have tons of carbs and protein"
T: "no wussy cole slaw"
B: "guys, we're going to die"
N: "i just had a HUGE plate of smoked meat - but if you guys go, i'll go too"

so every guy got up and got another destroyer plate-full of carbs and protein. and if one didn't have enough carbs, out of boy-pride he had to go back and get seconds.

*****************************
6 days later...

K says: "hey m, we're thinking of going to Buffet Vichy's again."
I reply: "what?!?! didn't you get enough of it last week. it was gross! you guys were pigs"
K: "no way - we're going to go back every Monday until I eat enough to destroy that place! you in or you out!"

this conversation took place right after a "boyz impromptu bbq". translation: all the chicken, sausage, steak, hamburgers you can eat with some buttery garlic bread.

M says: "no fair! why can't i have the metabolism of a boy?"

~and there will be no more mangos today~

it was not a proud day of mine - the day i lost a mango.

i was at the grocery store and saw that Mexican mangos were looking hot. so i bought a pair.

minutes later when i was putting away the fresh produce in my spartan fridge, i realized that i was one mango short!

i was so disturbed that i stood in my kitchen all dressed up to go golfing and ate the remaining lone mango.

as i recounted my story, one brother commented "for crying out loud m..it's a mango! how can you lose a mango!?!??!!! what's going to happen if you have kids one day??!!"

my fears exactly.

Spoiled rotten!

...that is... all the women in Montreal.

here are just a few examples of chivalry this weekend alone:

1. friend returns dvd's to Movieland on my behalf
2. acquaintance offers me ride home after outing with group of friends - in fact, it was limo service all weekend long.
3. friend confirms with me afterwards that acquaintance brought me home safely (aww...)
4. brother carries my bucket of golf balls at d-range

as friend so cheekily said "welcome home M ~ this is how men treat women in Montreal"

Poetic Justice.

haha!
Boy hits on girl at a house-party not recognizing that this is the same girl he called "ugly chinese sh-t" in high-school. Girl gets revenge and satisfaction of a lifetime by rejecting loser boy.

hahaha!
Three weeks later girl is carrying 6 months supply of toilet paper (on sale presently at Zellers) down the street. Girl trips on her own shoe. Boy comes out of the depanneur and sees this whole debacle.

Some people are just meant to be clumsy fools their whole lives. why me?!?

Visible minority???

My whole life I have been labelled as a "visible minority"...minus the time spent in China for vacation, of course.

A couple of weeks ago, I went shopping with my sister. The accepted norm is to separate and re-group within an agreed amount of time. Suggestion: don't do that in China. In a country of approximately 1.5 billion people, that is not advisable. The "looking for a Chinese face in the crowd" tactic to locate a loved one doesn't work at all.

I couldn't find my sister for 45 minutes. And we were both wandering around on the same floor. There must have been about 28,000 Chinese girls with long-haired pony tails and pink t-shirts walking around.

deesaster!

couture-intimidation.

back in the fashion capital of canada, I treated myself yesterday evening to a delicate browse in my favourite establishment - les cours...

For a great admirer of beautiful things, it is the greatest spot for retail therapy - excellent for some serious window shopping.

At Ursula B. the personal shopping assistant starts her pitch. "Oh I have some gorgeous shoes from the latest D&G collection. And the prices are a steal! Cheap really...they're going for $600 a pair this season. Isn't that a joke!?!?!"

"oh..." Now last time I checked, $600 is a lot for a pair of shoes - even for those of us who follow couture closely. But I was so intimidated by her couture-snobbiness that I froze and my only response was "oh..." I started to feel foolish and uncomfortable because I couldn't afford anything at the store and realized that she probably felt the same way about me. As she continued to chatter about this season's Cavalli, I began prepping for my exit strategy.

Then I looked down at her footwear and noticed that she was sporting the same sandals as my friend (which I remember costed about 9% of the "cheap" D&G shoes).

The moment of clarity comforted me and I realized that she couldn't afford the couture either - but was merely an admirer like myself. So I forgave the personal shopping assistant for her bold statements.

No more couture-intimdation for me.

this morning's drive to work.

i saw 2 squiggies in love. they were standing underneath this overpass on Notre-Dame. it has been the most interesting couple i have seen to date.

homeless
dressed in dirty black goth clothes
dreads
taking a break from squigging to make out

the most hellish trip home!

shanghai to vancouver: i sat next to this imbecile who kept invading my personal space. in addition to leaning on me while sleeping and elbowing me every 5 minutes, he also liked to spit into a soft cloth every 15 minutes. to top it off, he always chose the most inconvenient moment to go to the bathroom - the minute our meals arrived. bravo.

vancouver: customs was a complete gong-show which resulted in me missing my flight. air canada (which i have renamed air caca) put me on stand-by for the next 24 hours. i was lucky enough to have relatives living in vancouver which allowed me to shower and sleep horizontally like a normal human being. but this was not before 12 hours of waiting like a fool - always for the next available flight. fortunately, i cried like a baby and they gave me a confirmed seat for this morning - when i left, there were still fellow travellers stranded - being told that there were no available flights for the remainder of today. of course, none of their expenses would be covered since it was a "weather" problem...yea right...

montreal: now having travelled for over 2 days, i had the pleasure to line-up at the baggage services kiosk and file a report for my lost luggage!!! ($#&*@#^(*&. THEY LOST MY LUGGAGE! (my 2 favourite pairs of sandals are in that luggage)

i would like to give a dishonourable mention to the staff at air caca. waiting tired and dirty over 24 hours was demoralising - their crass, uncaring, rude, insulting attitude only served to dehumanize the experience even more.

Au says - everyone! let's join together and say a collective "AIR CACA!"