To my faithful readers:

I have used this forum to vent about my culinary disasters. However, as all things in life...sometimes a bone is thrown our way...or in this case - a wok!

I am very estatic to announce that for the very first time I cooked Chinese food for someone other than myself. They ate it and loved it. Most importantly, they did not have to visit the restroom soon after consuming it.

The haute cuisine which I prepared at my friend's place (since that person of Italian origin has a wok and I do not??) was the very simple but culinary-complicated FRIED RICE.

Yes - I am now a three time master of the often misunderstood and underappreciated fried rice.

Cheers to myself!

Self-sufficiency - the most dangerous thought on earth.

This past summer, I made a conscious decision to lead a disgustingly self-indulgent lifestyle. Somehow I rationalized my success and self-sufficiency as a reason to be selfish with my "hard-earned" money.

I decided to do away with any charitable donations and to just spend my money doing exactly what I wanted as a self-celebration. To my horror, my life spun out of control.

As my faithful readers recall, I seem to lose a number of items which really set me back financially. Firstly, my precious laptop suddenly broke and I had to replace my computer. Then I lost my cell phone and an expensive pair of sunglasses. In addition, I received a sinful amount of parking tickets and fines. Finally, my movers cheated me and stole from me (this is after I was pseudo forced into paying them a supplementary 150$ tip).

Completely unrelated to my financial woes, I had a change of heart in the beginning of autumn and I resolved to be less selfish and more caring & generous to the less fortunate. And just like that miracles began happening before my eyes. I declare with an obsene amount of confidence that anyone would believe it is a miracle when an auto repair shop changed my tires for free.

What a wake up call!!!

Copyright - part 1

The following expressions are MINE! I created them and started using them!

PPD: Post-Party Depression. circa Fall 2001. It is the glum state of mind which can last the few hours after or days after a really great party. I am not referring to the physical reaction to overconsumption. I am talking about the feeling that one's life is so blah and nothing when compared to the amount of fun previously enjoyed.
(e.g. I'm seriously experiencing PPD today.)

Paparazzi: circa Winter 2002. The type of people who you normally would never bear your soul nor tell your most appaling secrets but you call whenever you go out (or calls you to go out) and at the decided venue, there is crazy amounts of fun. Paparazzi always bring out the fun in your own personality.
(e.g. "Hey M, did you call your paparazzi to come out tonite?")

Pets: circa 2000. friends of the opposite sex who admire and worship the ground you walk on. However, you do not reciprocate the feeling and at this point must admit to yourself that you adore their company simply because you adore seeing yourself through their eyes. Rather than confront them about their unprofessed feelings towards you...you continue to enjoy their company while dreading the day they make their confession, which ultimately will ruin a convenient and lovely friendship.

Sexual Economics: circa Winter 2003. This explanation is really long. Its actually a theory of mine which states that there economic theory can be found in the interaction between men and women. Women use their beauty as a commodity while men are equally as guilty for treating beautiful women as a commodity. There are "dollar and sense" in a relationship. There is a Supply and Demand curve in dating. so on and so forth.

Morality & Psychoanalysis
(as per C.S. Lewis - Mere Christianity)

I just wanted to discuss this chapter with...myself I guess.

To provide background or refresh of what this chapter is about: Lewis is talking about the similarities between Christian morality and Psychoanalysis. Lewis says that when a person makes a moral choice there are two components to this action. Firstly, there is the act of choosing and secondly the impulse which is based on normal or abnormal tendencies. Psychology is related to the second component. Then he goes on to elaborate about judgement of wrongdoing. Lewis talks about the tendency of humankind to judge one another by our results. We judge a person for a product rather than looking at the raw materials that particular individual had to work with. He illustrates this point by saying a perverted man who is taught from the beginning that cruelty is the right thing and chooses to refrain from cruelty is perhaps viewed by God as more meaningful than a person like me who sacrifices my life for a friend. Finally, Lewis states that each choice we make changes the very core within us. The outcome is peace and knowledge for those who choose to be moral.


I like 3 things about Lewis’ discussion:

1) Choice: He stresses that we have a measure of control of our outcome while acknowledging that we are functioning with the cards we are dealt with.
2) Not to judge results. Not to make premature assumptions based on incomplete information.
3) Reminds me that God is not satisfied with my goodness. He wants more from me. That I made a general choice to be moral is not good enough. He wants me to change the very core within me one choice at a time.

Which leads me to introspection – I am grossly unjust towards my peers who don’t fill their boots (as the expression goes). I despise those who cannot inspire me with their perseverance, independence, and ingenuity. I’m sick of people my age raised in upper middle-class Christian families who complain that they were dealt a bad hand. However, perhaps their present state of mind is already a far cry with what they had to begin with. Lewis’ writing reminds me that I have no idea what they have gone through – what cards they were dealt. The focus should be on my own progress and not the progress of others.

Life is too short to be mediocre. Make a choice to be moral. Judge oneself and not others. Fight daily to be a better Christian.

Cheers to Clive Staples Lewis for reminding me that I am a warrior.

Top FIVE beautiful men.

5. craig david
4. david usher
3. robbie williams
2. takeshi
1. johnny depp/daniel wu (depends if i'm feeling chinese or white)

God put a zit upon my face - Moleplay

Its been 12 days this singular anomaly shines on my cheek. It is the most indiscreet thing about me in recent past.

It has caused me much grief. Not to sound completely superficial but my face is very important to me. I recall the character Elaine on Seinfeld proclaim "WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FACE?!!?! PLEASE TELL ME NOTHING HAPPENED TO HIS FACE!!!!" upon discovering that her mimbo boyfriend fell off a cliff in a mountain-climbing accident.

Quite astonishing how one minor occurrence can lead me to feel less confident, sway my desire to stay in rather than go out. And I realize how fragile one's circumstance can be.

If I thought I was beautiful and took pride in my appearance, how quickly it can be taken away. Similarly, if I thought myself to be financially self-sufficient, how quickly things can change. The little reminders God puts in our lives to make us strive for things greater than ourselves - To work for the good of others opposed to the good of ourselves.

and...God put a zit upon my face - Moleplay

"look at me. i'm cool. i'm hip. tick-ti-tick-ti-tick-ti-tick."

(monday evening - just got home from work. phone rings.)

"hallo!"
"hey - m wassup. its J"
"hey J what's up?"
"yo wut are u doin tonite"
"nothing much prolly staying in - you?"
"hey you want to go hear Grand Master Funk now?"
"what? now?!?! i can't"
"its Grand Master Funk! why not?"
"cause...i can't - i'm tired and its only Monday"
"hey you used to come out Monday nights"
"that was before. now i'm tired"
"alright"
"well...to be honest...i don't even know who Grand Master Funk is..."
"YOU DON"T???! TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING!!! He's like this hot DJ...I can't believe you don't know who he is"

To my faithful readers. There comes a time when even I must concede that I'm a loser.

A response to http://www.carmenau.blogspot.com

Perhaps the most funny message my mother has left for my sister was a box of fresh mille feuilles. "Carmen, pastries for you to consume - but not all. Sharing is a virtue"

Not only does my mother feed my sister the most expensive French pastries, she attemps to build her character.

So baby sister - while she's not teaching you to fish, she is teaching you the virtues. One box of pastries at a time.

prayer interrupted.

We all bowed our heads in unison. I folded my hands reverently and reflected on the words. He was saying a prayer on behalf of our family praising the Lord for all the blessings he bestowed upon us. He was giving thanks for the food before us.

"AND here's your side order of vegetables! ENJOY! Would you like pepper with your meal?? WOULD YOU?? Pepper?? What's going on?"

Time and time again - I am baffled by the number of people who do not recognize when a family is praying.

Does anyone pray anymore?

el futbol americano.

in response to my sister's blog...

I thoroughly enjoyed the beer and the noisemakers.

but - i did NOT enjoy the view obstructing the game
the "lady" and I use that term very loosely here...was wearing low-rider jeans, which exposed her cheap black lacey underwear each time she leaned forward. very disturbing.
hence, i fully supported the motion to exeunt the stadium.

i would like to applaud my father for his hilarious random ideas
AND his refusal to accept the fact that taking his princesses to a football game was anything less than a STELLAR idea!

The Artist - part 2

We were never meant for each other. Intensely affiliated in a foreign country. You worshipped me and I marvelled at your beauty. But when we returned, I disappointed you. Because I was not the carefree girl you met who rode overnight trains with the masses and wore karate pants for 2 months straight.

And now even more time has passed.

You still bring a smile to my face - never fail to enchant me

So you leave me funny little messages around my apartment for me to find - a moment of mirth planned months earlier. And you send me your little pieces of passion called art to tug at me - but even with your charming & sincere ways - you should expect me to be ice cold.

Because we were never meant for each other.

a semi-charmed kind of life.

today i received a perfect package in the mail.
a painting from a dear friend.
once again i am reminded of how blessed i am.

generally a perfect day.
nothing out of the ordinary
except that it was extraordinary.