shoe-lemma

everyone who knows me - knows how much i love my shoes. for the 3rd time in 2 years, i'm moving. the big shoe-lemma is which ones to take with me and which ones to put in the moving truck. it is such a struggle because I don't like playing favourites.

i literally spent 45 minutes agonizing over which pairs to take with me. then i spent another hour wrapping the rejected pairs in rice paper placing them GENTLY back into their boxes. sigh.

if i have kids, i hope i love them as much as my shoes. though i guess i would always have to take them with me and NOT put them in the moving truck.

Disorganization and Miscommunication can be attributed to genetics.

In less than 7 days I will be working in the Montreal office.
My current life is a complete disaster.

So I buy this long-d card so that I can call my family in Shanghai to vent. As I reach for the phone to dial...I REALIZE THE BUMS MOVED AND DIDN'T GIVE ME THEIR NEW NUMBER!!!

BOO

Two-step cooking

I hate cooking. But I hate being fat even more so I need to cook in order to consume more healthy meals.

Anyways - laziness, ignorance, and a general lack of interest has created some neat simple recipies.

WARNING - This recipies just save time and are somewhat healthy. They are in no way meant to impress dinner guests...

1 - chicken rice
rub salt all over chicken drums
dump chicken drums in with rice in rice cooker
total time: 25 mins

2 - seafood pasta
open arrabiata sauce in a jar into pan
dump can of clams into sauce
pour over penne pasta
total time: 10 mins

3 - mapo tofu
fry minced pork
gingerly put tofu into pan
add tons of chili
total time: 10 mins

4 - salmon and brocoli
boil brocoli
put fresh salmon into george foreman
total time: 7 mins

5 - spinach, egg, mushroom combo
cold: boil egg and put together with mushrooms and spinach for spinach salad
hot: fry all-together to make an omelette.
total time: 4-7 mins

6 - tuna and salad
put salad-in-a-bag into bowl
open canned chili-tuna/filets over salad
total time: 2 mins

Ladies and Gents - this is how I survived the past 2 years without my mother.

Tips of the day. The most important thing to keep in your apartment is...
INSTANT NOODLES
EGGS
ORANGES (they prevent scurvy)
SALAD-IN-A-BAG (after 2 days, boil contents and add oyster sauce for chinese inspired veggies)
PERRIER - because if you have to starve, at least you are doing so in-style.

peace.

Go ahead. Leave. We'll be fine.

This was the message in my going away card from my small group ladies. I like that message - because I don't like emotion or saying mushy things. I just like looking forward to the future.

Even if it means leaving some of the most kindred spirits I have ever befriended. The suburban peasants are not only culinary experts - they are masters of fat pants, sleepovers, craazies, compassion, generosity, and goodness.

Thank you my little women. You have taken care of me for the past 2 years and shown me the importance of corn starch & girliefriends.

You will be more than fine you'll be fabulous.

Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks

The other night I opened the Bible and my eyes fell upon this passage - which made me laugh because it is such a random thing to read. And then I got scared...

I would just like to say - Gwyneth Paltrow screwed up big time. Apple...WHAT WAS SHE THINKING? I mean if you're going to name your kid a fruit...why not banana or pineapple.

Anyways - I found something funny on the net.
Worst celebrity-kid names

- Diezel and Denim, sons of Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis
- Speck Wildhorse and Hud, sons of John Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin
- Pilot Inspektor, son of Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf
- Tu Morrow, daughter of Rob Morrow and Debbon Ayre (seriously)
- Audio Science, son of Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton
- Moon Unit, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Dweezil, and Diva, children of Frank Zappa
- Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Pixie, daughters of the late Paula Yates (Tiger Lily's dad is the late Michael Hutchence; Bob Geldof is father to the other three)

Dishonorable Mention: Zowie (son of David Bowie -- he later changed his name to Joe before settling on Duncan); Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q (son of Bono), Aurelius (son of Elle Macpherson), Lyric and Zephyr (daughter and son of Robby Benson), and (gulp) Jermajesty (son of Jermaine Jackson).

The Princess Returns - Volume 1

When I left Montreal I didn't know how to pump my own gas, buy groceries, cook, or clean. I came to Toronto with nothing except guts and grit & of course the love of my family.

Now I am returning as a young professional - career on the rise...and even though I'm more independent...I'm still a princess! hahaha.

So what am I going to do in Montreal?
- find the love of a good man
- conquer Eastern Region
- increase the price of gas (hahaha - jokes)

AMAZING!!!

I always knew that 2004 was going to be a great year for change and travel. Little did I know it would mean finding out about a great opportunity and getting transferred back home with less than 3 weeks notice.

Excited
I feel so excited because I love change and I love chaos. Finding out you have to pick up, pack up, and leave is CHAOS. Above all though, I love a challenge. This new job is going to be amazing. It's great for my career. Yay.

Anxious
Because I'm going to have to build up my reputation with a new group. And I anticipate some transition time adjusting to my hometown again.

Happy
I always knew in my heart that I was going to come home one day. Montreal watch out - the Au sisters are back together again. It's a very powerful set.

Sad
Things I'm going to miss about TO. My small group ladies + b. Boob West Village. Les filles. My Thunder Bay girls. Signorina. Petro boys. CN tower (just joking!!)

Blech - no tears. I'll be back.

Oh yea - one special note to the kenemy: YOU CAN DRIVE UP AND DOWN MY STREET ALL YOU WANT CAUSE I DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!!!

My commentary on the news.

SO the big scandal these days is the discovery of the pictures of American soldiers abusing Iraqi POWs.

Why is the everyone surprised? What else did they expect?

That is the ugly horrid nature of war. It makes savages of us ALL.

150 degrees and rising!

ok the PO-Factor just keeps climbing.

One other thing I wanted to say before calling it a day - WHAT IS UP WITH LOUIS VUITTON choosing Scarlett Johansen to be their next "face" for the Fall Campaign!??!

It's bad enough they defiled their brand by using JLo...but now Scarlett? Why? Cause she did a boring arty crap movie with Bill Murray?

Who cares - it's just a purse? Well not really. LVMH (Louis Vuitton Moet Hennessy) is the largest luxury-good corporation. And if even they decide to be hideous. Then for sure my kids will be going to their school dances wearing hemp shoes and cow-dung-based sackcloths.

Finally - a quote from an evil mistress.

"I've taught Estella well. Yes I have. She will cut through men like a hot knife through butter. Chica Boom." - Ms. Dinsmore. Great Expectations.

PMS rant.

It's just a matter of days. Believe me - I can feel it - the guy I bitched out yesterday can feel it - my boss can DEFINITELY feel it. Bugger. Thank goodness this fades.

So today my rant is Casual-chic.

Thanks to Paris Hilton and the whordes (hehe) of tall blondes who like to slum - fashion has been ruined. Women (formerly well dressed) are now sporting a pair of over-priced jeans for every occasion. Hideous.

Gone are the days where women and men alike dressed up. These days denim is accepted in places of worship, 5-star restos, anywhere really. I believe that people should use their attire to differentiate between mowing the lawn or going to dinner at a fine establishment. But perhaps they are making the statement that it really is the same to them and they don't care. Well good for them. They are making a hideous fashion statement of themselves.

PMS part 2

So I went to work out extremely pissed off. I wore a Bruce Lee shirt for inspiration (my new red one - yay) and stood right behind the instructor. Anger is really a great motivator to push oneself and get a great work out.

Don't bother asking me "what is wrong?" or other lame questions - I'm just writing this sentiment down. Taking note of my feisty disposition. Consider this my version of a docu-drama.

But if you really want to know. Nothing is wrong. Nothing. My life is fine and I'm just acting like an ungrateful spoiled brat. I'm just really pissed off. Like the PO factor is unreal this time round.

Great - so now my male audience (maximum 4 readers) are gonna think "aww..another irrational and emotional female"

Then my response to that is - I just did an hour of kick-boxing and with anger as my adrenaline - I can go for 3 more hours. Basically, I can kick your butt now. So don't "female" me now.

GRRRR

ANGRY PRINCESS

I'm so glamourous.

Today was the most exciting day of my life. I woke up late again - went to work - drank too much coffee - worked on another presentation - scammed a free lunch - worked more - drove home in traffic - ate dinner - worked out - cleaned my washroom - ate second dinner - surfed the net - read that i am 5 pounds heavier for a women my height - regretted eating second dinner - watching "Return of the Dragon for the 43rd time....

I swear I'm living Britney Spears' life. Oh yea...

Quoting "Salamander":

These are my vices shortlisted for your perusal. I am working on a few of them.

10. reading 5 books at once (very short attention span)
9. re-watching Bruce Lee dvd's instead of sleeping.
8. listening to only %50-%65 of every voicemail message and then hitting
delete (i don't know why i do that...)
7. day-dreaming during church.
6. spilling coffee on myself/my desk.
5. flashy men.
4. speaking/acting before thinking things through.
3. consuming copious amounts of chips (yea i think chips are worse than dating bad guys)
2. supplementing respectable vocabulary with expletives.
1. impulse buying. (make-up, dvd's, cd's, golf equipment, shoes, clothes, anything really...)

Productive saturday morning (including 1 wake up call), Mom's coffee, Lazy pm, Mousse au poisson & good conversation, He-She's & Arab beats, More Bruce Lee stuff, Funnie God-brothers & Basha's, Final Fantasy?, FASHIONABLE PEOPLE.

So now sitting in my apartment - sure feels nice to be back in Toronto....NOT.

***********

More Terminal 1 stories

I'm waiting for my shuttle - I see this other shuttle door open. This man sticks his head out and says something to me. I smile and say "pardon me". He then motions to this little Chinese man running to push his carriage back to the carriage lot and yells "YOU KNOW YOU DON'T GET MONEY BACK FOR RETURNING THE CARRIAGE. HURRY UP!!! YOU'RE KEEPING US ALL WAITING!!!"

riiighhht...so the guy thought that I was anonymous-Chinese man's woman? why? cause I'm Chinese too? smooth move blondie.

Anyways, no response on my part was necessary since I knew that in 2 seconds he would feel like a complete idiot. I just smiled mockingly and then shook my head as anonymous-Chinese man ran back to the shuttle and I stayed behind because I CLEARLY WAS NOT WITH HIM!!!

In hindsight - I should have waved enthusiastically and yelled "VELCOME TO KANADAH!!!"

Terminal 1 madness.

As I'm rushing to my gate, an airport-worker smiled and waved to me. Random act of kindness - cool. So I enthusiastically wave back. And he says so cheerfully it's almost sinful "VELCOME TO KANADAH!!" Riiiighhhhhtttt...

So I'm waiting for my flight reading a hollywood gossip magazine to kill time. And I then I started thinking about something that really occupied my mind. So after some very careful consideration...here it is!

M's Top 5 Most Beautiful Women Alive.

5. Ashley Judd. She has style, she has grace - like Rita Hayworth, she gave good face. Always sophisticated and classy. I love her sense of style. She is a classic lady.
4. Wong Faye. Ever since I was 15, I was enchanted by this Canto-pop singer. Originally from China, she made it HUGE in HK in the 1990's. Even though I wasn't a fan of Canto-pop, I bought her cd's & Chinese mags just to look at her photographs. I love her funky style and her features. I know her recent past is filled with controversy and sadness - I wish her all the best.
3. Maggie Cheung. She has character. She isn't the cutesy Asian type. She is a woman. I like that she smiles sparingly. I like the way she moves and carries herself on-screen - quiet, carefully, beautifully. The best thing is that she looks like she has a real fiery temper. If I was an artist, she would be my muse.
2. Angelina Jolie. I think she's the hottest woman in movies these days. I love her body. But I love her face even more. I started liking her in the movie Gia - where she plays the part of the supermodel who rose and tragically died in the 80's. She has such a memorable square-faced shape. Wish I could have those eyes and lips. She's a type of sexy I could never be.
1. My mom. It's such a cliché answer. But seriously, if you've met my mother, then you would understand that I'm being completely objective. She's in her 50's and can easily out-style and out-shine any woman in her 30's. She is classic - slender and graceful with the best skin on earth. She has HUGE round light brown eyes and a perfect nose. She is best described as a Chinese Audrey Hepburn. Unfortunately, I take after my father...